couples and marriage
The best situation is a "win-win" relationship. Both spouses win!
People say that the hardest part of a marriage is the first year. If you have been married more than a year you know that is not always necessarily the truth. As you grow in your life, ideas and desires may change. Sometimes these changes make it feel as though you are walking in a different place other than with your spouse. Whether your struggles are communication problems, addictions, or just a need for refreshing your marriage, Champion Christian Community Counseling of Tomball can offer you a supportive place to work through the issues. We will talk to you one-on-one, and as a couple, to encourage you to focus your marriage on Christ and each other and help you to find a way to communicate more effectively and to work through your difficulties and solutions to life's struggles.
One of the most important skills for a relationship is developing the skill of active listening.
When listening to your spouse, force yourself to dwell on his/her words. Look at your spouse while he/she is talking. Don't interrupt, because if you do he/she will probably quit talking. Remember to thank him/her for talking and sharing his/her thoughts with you. Married couples get themselves in trouble by thinking the other person knows how they feel when in truth they don't have a clue. So, turn off the TV, put down your book or newspaper, and become an active listener. This is critical for success and fulfilling marriage.
Identify what is happening!
When there are problems in a relationship, it is best to identify what is happening. Once a correct diagnosis is made, then steps to heal the marriage can be made. The eight areas to consider and questions to ask yourself are:
- Distance – How far apart have you become?
- Power Struggle – Does somebody have to "win"?
- Trust – Have you lost faith in your spouse?
- Defense of self-identity – Have you given up friends, hobbies, etc. to keep your spouse happy?
- Sex – Are your sexual activities pleasurable and satisfying?
- Centricity – Are you both thinking only of yourselves?
- Unrealistic illusion and expectations – Did you want "a knight in shining armor" or "a perfect lady" for a spouse?
- Territorial aggression – Do you disagree about what is mine, yours, and ours?