co-dependency
Co-Dependency is a learned behavior that often cycles from one generation to the next.
Co-Dependency affects one's ability to have fulfilling, happy relationships. Many professionals see it as "relationship addiction". Persons suffering from Co-Dependency often have emotionally destructive and/or abusive relationships. Their relationships are often very one-sided. Co-Dependency is learned by imitating behavior exhibited by other family members who display co-dependent behaviors. Several years ago, Co-Dependency became a term used to describe the behaviors of the spouse of a substance abuser.
The following is a list of statements a Co-Dependent person may feel:
- My good feelings about who I depend on my receiving approval from you.
- Your problems affect my serenity. My attention is focused on solving your problems.
- My mental attention is focused on pleasing you.
- My self-esteem is bolstered by receiving your pain and solving your problems.
- My interests are ignored while my time is spent sharing your interests.
- I ask you what you want. I am not aware of what I want.
- My fear of your rejection determines what I say and do.
- My circle of friends diminishes as I become more involved with you.
- I compromise my values in order to connect with you.
- I value your opinion more than I value my own.
- If your quality of life is poor the quality of my life will be also.