ANGER MANAGEMENT
With our faith, one thing we can control in life is how we respond to situations and other people.
Anger is a feeling of frustration and displeasure, sometimes leading to violence.
Do you have a short fuse or find yourself getting into frequent arguments and fights? Anger is a normal, healthy emotion, but when chronic, explosive anger spirals out of control, it can have serious consequences.
If you have a hot temper, you may feel like it is out of your hands and there is little you can do to tame the beast. You have more control over your anger than you think. You can learn to express your emotions without hurting others. When you do, you will not only feel better, but you will also be more likely to get your needs met. Mastering the art of anger management takes work, but the more you practice, the easier it will get, and the payoff can be huge. Learning to control your anger and express it appropriately can help you build better relationships, achieve your goals, and lead to a healthier, more satisfying life.
Clues that there is something more to your anger:
- You have a hard time compromising. Is it hard for you to understand other people's points of view, and even harder to concede a point? If you grew up in a family where anger was out of control, you may remember how the angry person got his or her way by being the loudest and most demanding. Compromising might bring up scary feelings of failure and vulnerability.
- You have trouble expressing emotions other than anger. Do you pride yourself on being tough and in control, never letting your guard down? Do you feel that emotions like fear, guilt, or shame do not apply to you? Everyone has those emotions, and if you think you do not, you may be using anger as a cover for them.
- You view different opinions and viewpoints as a personal challenge to you. Do you believe that your way is always right and get angry when others disagree? If you have a strong need to be in control or a fragile ego, you may interpret other perspectives as a challenge to your authority, rather than simply a different way of looking at things.
- If you are uncomfortable with many emotions, disconnected, or stuck on an angry one-note response to everything, it might do you some good to get back in touch with your feelings. Emotional awareness is the key to self-understanding and success in life. Without the ability to recognize, manage, and deal with the full range of human emotions, you will inevitably spin into confusion, isolation, and self-doubt.
Consider professional help if:
- You feel constantly frustrated and angry no matter what you try.
- Your temper causes problems at work or in your relationships.
- You avoid new events and people because you feel like you cannot control your temper.
- You have gotten in trouble with the law due to your anger.
- Your anger has ever led to physical violence.
The goal of anger management is to reduce both your emotional feelings and the physiological arousal that anger causes. You cannot get rid of, or avoid, the things or the people that enrage you, nor can you change them, but you can learn to control your reactions.